Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Remembering Thanksgivings of the Past

It has been nearly a Moon since I’ve blog. I must admit that I am a bit on the lazy side at times, but in this case I blame the Companion. He is working on my book making sure things like Themes and motifs and symbols are “all running through the book nicely.” His words not mine. For me it was enough to tell my story, our story that is. It was enough for me to bicycle across the country and relive the moments of my life that I had chosen to forget. Reliving my life in the puppy mill was bad and dictating that to the Companion were both enough for me. Reliving watching the Companion plan his death and dictating to him how I felt during that was enough for me.

But he says, we need to pull some things out more blah blah blah. If it makes him happy, then ok.

It has been a week since Thanksgiving and I feel like remembering this a bit. I feel like remember the Thanksgivings of my life.

There was no such thing as Thanksgiving at the puppy mill. It was a day like any other day, no cause for celebration. There was no energy of happiness or joy anywhere there. These Thanksgivings, as I look back, were times of sorrow and pain. Times of having puppies and watching them taken from me too soon and feeling that sorrow. Wondering who their companions were, and what had happen to them. Hoping that my next litter would be allowed to stay until their humans came and got them. But knowing it wouldn’t happen.

There are two Thanksgivings that stand out as wonderful times for me. The first one that he Companion and I went to visit his family. This is the last time he has seen them. We went down to see them by car, that his mom rented for us. This was in the middle of the depression, while his suicidal thoughts were less, they would come back from time to time. But I think the visit home was good for him. It did help if only to be away and surrounded by people who whould miss him if he did die by suicide. This is something he sees now, but at the time the depression clouded his thoughts.

For me that Thanksgiving was about realizing I had a family. The Companion’s family all loved me, and gave me lots of attention. The kids played with me a lot. Grandma wouldn’t let me on the sofa, so when she left the room I would sit in her chair. Dogs like to be on the sofa because it is soft, but your smells are there and we feel so close to you when we can lay with those smells near us. It is comforting to have the feeling that family is near by.

I got to eat so much food too. I remember that ham bone! Yummm! This is the family, except for granddad. He had gotten tired and left while we stayed on the beach and played with the camera some more.

Last year’s Thanksgiving was memorable too. We stayed with Jennifer for ten days! I got to rest as much as I wanted too. And had company with me when the Companion and Jennifer went out. Jennifer had a dog, who since then has gone to the bridge. What a wonderful life Jennifer gave her! Dogs need humans!

That Thanksgiving was in the middle of the journey! It was so wonderful to be out doing something to help others. I will never forget my feelings of victory, my feelings of joy that I had that Thanksgiving. I will never forget the smells of the Companion! The scent of the depression was gone and he was smelling like he’s old self again. This picture is of the newspaper article done about us. You can see Jennifer in the background. So much of the journey was about the Companion finding old friends, lost by time space. I think this helped him become grounded again, and has helped now while he continues to search for a job. He knows and feels deeply he has people to turn too, people who want him to stay around for a while.

Thanksgiving is such a wonderful holiday! I hope you all celebrated it!

The Companion asked me to keep the details out of this blog today, because I give the details in the book. I’m thankful that I have written, and I hope we find an agent soon and get it published.